Welcome to Temporal Dysfunction, a place for news. Nothing more. Nothing less. You won't get anything groundbreaking. Hell, some of it may even be old to you. What can be promised is that it won't be the same old same old. Think of it as your mini dose of the SDM ezine. Still concentrated, but just not so much of it. We're always open for new talent, so if you think you can hack out something for this bit of nothingness, drop something here.

Not since the cancellation of Full House has one world been so willing to rejoice.   That's right, Family Matters is leaving.  Let us take a moment to reflect.

A long time ago, this show was cool for using Armstrong in the opening credits.   Not only that, but Dawn was acting after doing Gimme A Break, a classic.  With her hair endowed son, she was a single mother not making a damn bit of difference.   Her brother-in-law was a goof and made us all pity huimanity.  He had a stupid son, an attractive daughter, and a child that just disappeared. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you find out what happened to that lost Winslow.   Not because we care, but because she may be connected to the JonBenet Ramsey Case.

Anything is a possibility.

6.29.98
At the risk of offending amerika and anyone else who likes to read into anything, I, Paul B. Whitley, would like to go on record about the klan rally in Jasper, TX.

First off, I commend the klan for what it did.  There are some parts of this world (including amerika) where something such as the wrong perpetrated against James Byrd would've been claimed by many groups, because honestly it was gruesome and would invoke fear, if not chaos and dis-harmony.  Rather than establish itself as some sort of great force on the front of racial tension, the Jasper area klan decided to organize and condemn such a heinous act against an undeserving HUMAN as well as against mankind. 

Naturally, where the klan is, trouble follows.  Groups were there to counter.   In all honesty, I expect there to be something like that, but at the same time the counter actors could've risen up and created solidarity for ONE moment.   This wasn't about race, this was about the condemning of an actions by sick fucks who deserve the worst form of torture ever invented (better yet, call me and I'll suggest something "better" for them).

For those of you wondering, I do not endorse the klan in any way except for the fact they stepped up, for once, and did the right thing.  Optimism isn't commonplace here, but for once, I can see there is the possibility of good in everybody.

6.25.98
A decree has been issued by the Passenger Vessel Association that it is unwise to recreate the scene in Titanic where Lovely Leo spouts off about being important.   Hell, I say let the bastards try it and fall.  Anybody who watches that damn movie and tries to be that guy ought to fall off a big boat and into the water.   Hell, you might as well write a poem about it.  Either way, you suck.

The next two sentences need no punchline.

Home Alone boy got married sunday. 

Two conservative sect amish fellows got busted dishing out cocaine to the younger members.

6.24.98
I suppose the first thing we should do is give praise to the great Microsoft for blessing us with yet another incarnation of Windows.  Achoo!

Another biggie in the world of sexual harassment within our sacred school system.   The supreme court has decreed that in order for folks to make a claim, a whole bunch of things must take place.  In a nutshell, tell someone who doesn't give a damn about the creep and then you'll get paid.  I know what your thinking: tell a janitor.   'fraid not, folks.  It must be a person in authority.  Unfortunately, they will either care or put you in special ed.  In other words, it's unlikely that you'll get paid. 

Now for some hometown bashing.  Ice Cube is bad!  This was an institutional editorial and I'm supposed to care.  Sure, he's bad, but not for espousing bigotry.   That's b.s.  Everyone embraces bigotry.  Cube is bad because he has no skills! 

And that is my peace.

6.23.98
Big surprise here.  Billy Gates is numero uno in the monetary brackets.  I won't knock him because last I heard 12 year old children in huts were doing software gigs.   As long as that remains the pattern, he can make money without me knocking him.  

Speaking of children, Clinton has called for a survey to see what children are smoking.  That just wreaks of honest results.

Now for the greatest thing to hit the world since Clint Eastwood became a mayor.   Granpa Munster is running for governor of NY.  Damnit if I lived there now!   He's got my vote.  At the risk of being ostracized by the rest of the staff, I, a faceless name am endorsing Granpa on behalf of all of those who stand behind him.   He'll do damn good job, I'm sure.

6.21.98
I guess the important thing is us being back, but who in the hell cares?  Let's do this thing without missing much of a beat.

It seems like the big thing that went on this past Sunday was Iran vs US in a soccer game that both needed a win for.  Enough of the sports talk, time for perspective.

A soccer game doesn't mean jack!  Maybe back in the day ping pong dictated the world political scene, but today I think it's wishful thinking.  I hear folks talking about how this can pave the way.  wtf?  Why don't these big headed ego stroke giving men just get their shit together and solve this with a game of dodgeball.   That's are friendships are tested and forged.  Once they've got that going, it's the beginning world peace.  Just forget about commercial saturated overhyped supposedly most popular game in the world except I don't get kind of atmosphere that will most likely result in some pissed off fans but never result in a step going towards world peace.  It just won't happen.