5.11.98
It’s been awhile and it sucks that the first piece after a hiatus dwells on mtv, but
here goes...Rather than have people get a job, mtv is
doing it’s best to feed off of six losers picked to live on a bus in hopes that
ratings will rocket in the pursuit of slackers who really just piss me off. Forgive me for
not noticing this sooner, but I always that that Cowboy dude was a fixture on mtv.
Apparently I was wrong. If anything, it’s nice to know that after all these years
Eric Nies still has a job doing jack shit for the people that hired Carson Daly. It makes
me feel safer knowing that these guys won’t be lurking at my learning institution.
5.1.98
For the umpteenth time we are back. Let me express my thoughts on the whole real tv
revolution. Amerikans are sick pigs. We eat up anything that involves the horrendous.
I’m not being judgemental here because I dig this kind of shit too. I’m just
saying we should stop and realize that this isn’t help anyone by watching this.
Fascination of mob kingpins, drug dealers and speeding vehicles can only lead to the
negative, so in closing do something positive: like reading Catcher In The Rye. Just
don’t kill anybody.
4.26.98
I realize that a child has killed and countries are in despair, but you already knew that.
So without further ado, let’s talk about our benevolent gov’t. We live in a
temple of irony. We have lawmakers and enforcers who want to persecute Jack Kevorkian,
while even though a media whore, cannot be accused of not preventing agony. Maybe
it’s immoral for euthanasia to happen, I don’t care. All I know is that he is
helping out terminal cancer victims. It’s been established that the man doesn’t
want him in business. That’s cool, but over an alternative. Here goes an alternative:
medicinal marijuana. Can’t have that can we? A possibility for that one is that they
don’t want something unsafe like drugs around for the kiddies.
Now, here comes the real tricky situation. Our gov’t does
not want sick people dying nor do they want sick people to get the easy way out. So, can
it be explained why they don’t want to help prevent the spread of AIDS? While needle
swapping can arguably be considered a way of endorsing drug use, there is no way in hell
that it can’t be considered a way to help fight AIDS. So leave you with this
question… where does it all end? Bullets, no guns? Books, no words? Pills, no
assistance?
To top it all off, gov’t officials have gone on record and
endorse needle exchange programs. Sure, not swapping needles saves the gov’t money
today, but tomorrow, when the junkie in the alley gets sick, who will pay the bills?
Somehow, one dollar does not equal $75,000.
4.22.98
Once again comes the discussion on human nature... amerikan style. In amerika, we have
several unique privileges. One of which being, "finder’s keeper’s..."
and then there’s that 9/10th possession law, which brings us to the
funniest of times. Over the weekend, a plane went down and on that plane was a cargo load
of marijuana. When it hit, souls did not brave flames for the sake of the pilot but for
the purpose of getting hands on some ‘erb. Naturally, a story like this gets funnier.
The police actually thought that the drugs could be recovered! Witnesses could only say
that they saw the looting and nothing else. Am I surprised? Not just no, but HELL NO!
Funny how the news makes the sarcasm for itself.
In other news, look for a brand new issue
of sdm sometime this week (possibly the weekend). Go ahead, subscribe. Right now,
that’s the only way you’ll see it.
4.17.98
Here goes the movie thing.
Scream2 is back folks, so here is a chance to do something we should've a long time ago
(even though armchair ruined the ending). Let's just be objective this time. So, how does
it go? The sequels are always much worse? Let's analyze this one. Momentum will kill this
film no matter what. We, the viewers, expect something great and we're entitled to it. The
tricky part is, how do get past this.
You know what? FUck the bullshit. Two thumbs up. I saw the damn movie twice so far and
dig it. Why write anymore?
4.16.98
Sucks that we've been gone, because much has happened in the world. Forgive the Weekend
Update bs style.
First things first:
An anniversary for the sinking of the titanic. Considering it only happened two weeks ago,
I don't see much cause for a worldwide celebration. THERE IS STILL A CHANCE THAT THE SHIP
WILL FLOAT BACK UP TO THE TOP! Those two crappy top ones can only hold for so long. We
must stay on guard! Watch other movies and we won't have to celebrate death again.
Second things next:
VH-1 recently held some diva show. The usual suspects attended. Celine Dion dedicated at
least one song to survivors of the titanic. She should apologize for that one. Not only
that, but where was she at the fifty anniversary of the sinking singing in their honor.
When did it sink? Some odd number ago. Will she dedicate other songs to these folk? How
about an album? Will she pen a book about the experience of that lame ass song? Where do
the proceeds go that she gets from making that song? Will the obligatory grammy go to a
fund as well? People need to know.
Third things following:
We're working on a new site. Subscribe (stu06311@aug.edu)
and a get variating status publication. Just a spoof of a compadre dead.
Anything else:
20 minutes have expired since minute one of Pepsi boy's fame. Where are you know? Give me
a call, it's local. Did you see that address above? If you know anyone who is die hard
straight edge, we'd like an interview. Figure that one out.
4.12.98
Well, the Masters are over and Tiger did not win. Disappointed? Who cares?
In other news, the Tiger Woods Story aired in what may be a hint of some sort of sadass
competition with ABC for the dumbest movie ideas ever. I recommend that each and everyone
of our faithful, even occasional, readers petition for a Fuzzy Zoeller movie. The
Proverbial, yet ignorant, foot-in-mouth=BIG RATINGS!!! Think about it.
In even more news, I am still stuck on this Tiger rant. This weekend I noticed a lot of
commercial coverage for the golden boy and I have to know, does it all end here? Who's
really that lucky?
One more thing on this Tiger trip... maybe Reggie White could direct the Zoeller biopic.
David Duke as Zoeller and Farrakhan as Tiger. Yes, that is it. Any money I make from this
idea will be donated to one of those stop racism charities? No I really doubt that. If
racism is gone, will I get anymore ideas for prejudicial sports celebrities who can't
figure out when the camera's not on? I doubt it. Maybe I'll donate the money to the nation
and the klan. Putting into the systems gives more results... or something like that.
4.10.98
What happened today? I try to find refuge on one channel and I get this freaky ass
memorial service on television. So I change the channel and find that there is a funeral
for Tammy Wynette -- locally, there are these two articles on the front page. one is
Wynette dies possibly from a blood clot. the other says there's this new female drug that
can cause blood clots. just thought it was funny. how 'bout your town? -- then I switch
back to eMpTy V's parade of the has been vjs. I was depressed and apologize to anyone who
watched this. Somebody should.
In other thoughts, the fact that they held an opryland show at the same time of her
funeral is funny as hell. What are the odds of that coincidence ever happening?
Now onto golf. Let me tell you what the local folks are spouting off about. Easter and the
Masters on the same day is bad. Apparently it gives old, white Augusta men bad
impressions. It's only bad because the part of amerika that lives in the nineties will
find out what this backwards little southern town is doing on there sundays. We don't go
to church, we just play golf all day. We don't care, because we'll be in a green pasture
hell and where will you be?
4.9.98
Two movies to discuss here. Just because we can.
First victim: City of Angels. A remake of a Wim Wenders movie. Not all that old and it
was, in all sincerity, cool as hell. Wings of Desire was the original. A sequel was made
(Faraway, So Close!) and that was good as well. Philosophy and the importance of being
human. It makes everything so worthwhile. Peter Falk and Lou Reed even show up. As far as
I'm concerned, they get four thumbs a piece. BTW, the movies are german predominantly
b&w. Proof that amerikans do suck.
On to 1998 and what do we have? Nicholas Cage (Lemmie from ConAir) and Meg Ryan (Lemmie
from Courage Under Fire). All color (so it seems) and a badass soundtrack. I don't know
the specifics of what was changed, but if there's only color, this it's just a piece of
shit. One thumb for copying somebody cool and being crazy enough to make Dennis Franz an
angel (only in amerika). One finger for fucking it up like an amerikan idiot.
The second movie. I don't when it comes out, but I just heard about it.
Three Ninjas and the Attack on Mega Mtn. the fuck? This is why I advocate capital
punishment. What's even worse is that Hulk Hogan (sucks) and Loni Anderson (uh) have
crucial parts. I really don't think I have to go any further. Two fingers from me and two
fingers from all my friends. While I'm at it, anyone who reads TD offers up two fingers.
4.8.98
Who didn't see it coming? Already the excuses are starting to fly. One of the
junior snipers is claiming that he was molested as a child. Personally, I don't see how,
but if it works go with it. In other legal news, Terry Nichols is being sued by victims
that crime he claims innocence to.
Anothing thing I came across today was something about a study by pediatricians stating
that parents shouldn't be spanking their children. B U L L S H I T ! What are the other
alternatives? Begging and pleading? Sure it could be said that if you were really a
good parent you wouldn't need spanking. Rome wasn't built in a day. Telling the brat
something over and over again is a waste of time. Teach that lil' bastard that with
disobeying comes penalty. Otherwise it's a spoiled brat and slack ass parent worn out from
being walked all over. Yelling isn't a penalty, it's a time killer. When the yelling
stops, who gives a fuck? Leave a lasting impression, tan that hide.
When did Buddy Hackett die? Someone let me know.
Just so that the world doesn't forget about him, Jerry Falwell recommended that if Clinton
does have a problem with satisfying his "urges" he should confess and get help.
Okay.
Hopefully for those of you are faithful to this little thing we've been running here,
you'll be willing to follow us when we get our new home. Since I doubt any of you
followed from disOBEY, there is no using in me discussing it. Just wait, it's coming.
4.7.98
After several pieces of crap being thrown at it, the titanic is finally sinking. Whod've
thunk it? Lost In Space was the magic bullet. Not since the Princess DIe dedication rag
was found in a trash can have folks here at sdm been so excited.
In other news, Milli was found dead. Possibly due to an overdose of some kind. It would be
heartless to run up some lame ass punchline about someone taking the drugs for him, so we
won't. Besides, that's too much like the daily show. What we will do however is use his
death as a vehicle to put down a show that is lame and so full of shit you can smell
before you get to the channel.
4.1.98
It's hopeless to make any of this sound like news right off the presses, but who
gives a damn, we know how to tell it. Get ready for a biggie. In case you can't find the
end of this edition, our new issue has been released and while there is no way to view it
on the web, you can subscribe for the newest issue which discusses why we are on TU as
well as other things which seem to escape my mind at the present moment. Just drop a note
on stu06311@aug.edu with subscribe in the subject and
you'll get the newest issue of Socially DerangeD Mentality.
At the age of 17 Macaulay Culkin is married. In a statement, the aspiring white trash
groom stated that he was happy that they found each other at such a young age. Later on
eMpTy V LIVE, someone (vj or Kurt Loder) made a comment about Culkin having it rough. Let
me digress for a moment... Being a millionaire at the age of 17 is not having it rough,
even if your lazy has been parents are busy fighting over your siblings (or dollars). If
he got beat or forced into a terrorist organization that robbed banks maybe I could say
'I'm sure am glad he's throwing his life away and bringing someone with him, his life was
so fucked up he deserves it' but I can't. He's a punk and I am sure that the divorce will
be only a shadow of the bullshit his parents dished out.
Onto to the Killer Kousins. There's some rule that says that since they're not 14, they
both must be tried as juveniles. Not only that, but when the two little psychos get out,
they can take up firing practice again. Arkansas is trying to get the last one off the
books. It's a shame that a man can kill someone in self-defense and get the death penalty,
but two mass murderers (one a year shy of 14 and the other 3 years shy) can knock off some
school children go to a juvenile correction facility for a few years (assumption), get
out, buy some more guns and knock off the children of the kids they missed years earlier.
In other dead kid news, a new student shot herself in the bathroom. I mention this for
three reasons. 1. I wrote a story where a guy tried to kill himself in the girl's bathroom
to get a girl's attention. No point. 2. Anyone remember 'Jeremy' by Pearl Jam. Based on a
true story. Alot of what happened to that girl happened to 'Jeremy.' Not only that, but
the articles are almost identicle. and 3. Somehow a sucessful suicide aka solitary death
scared the hell out of parents believing this to be just like the Jonesboro, AK massacre.
Parents flip out so easily nowadays. This is a BIG update, so why not knock off with a
Princess DIe story. How long's it been? I almost thought she was dead for a moment there.
Anyways, a museum in London will be displaying the armor she wore when visiting an Angolan
Mine Field. Which brings to mind a question. Let's assume the princess was a media whore
and this visit of hers was PR and all that other nonsense and then she died from a mine
accident. Could it be said that her addiction to being in the spotlight provided by the
media was the cause of her death? In other words, would folks blame the media for that as
well?
Kind of stupid, but think about it. |
