9.30.97
Instead of blaming cynics for not doing anything, let's blame eMpTy V. As if Beavis &
Butthead wasn't enough to spawn a breed of idle minded morons, the show 12 Angry Viewers
debuted Monday. I saw a segment of it, and had an epiphany. Generation X is full of
morons. As long as these morons aren't getting paid to make a critique of videos that will
either get overkill or kill a band for lack of exposure, you won't hear anymore
complaints, but what are the odds of people doing this crap for free?
9.29.97
It seems that the great benefactor, Ted Turner, has come under fire because this major
contribution he's made is really of no loss to him. I, for one, can't imagine someone
giving away $1 billion if it would've been a loss to him. In fact, most people don't
contribute anything if it's going to be a loss. I thought the whole concept of giving was
to give when you had the excess to. Besides, why should it matter whether or not someone
can really, really, really afford to give away money. Furthermore, I don't see anybody
else pledging away "earnings" like that. You know, I am really sick and tired of
the cynics in this world. Can't they just let leave well enough alone. I'm glad that
instead of giving that money to some well deserving inner city program or setting up some
sort of scholarship, he decided that it was more important to help out an organization
that has no idea what to do with it. That is admirable.
9.26.97
In all honesty, the news I've seen today isn't really worth the time to critque it. I
could pick on the Mr. Booty Call, but he's become a walking magnet for jokes. Maybe
there's something in that whole I.R.S. thing going on. From my standpoint, 3 days of
hearings is not nearly enough to get the dirt on an organization that is on the verge of
being shutdown. Personally, I don't see the purpose in an agency that collects money for
Big Brother. If the President asked the people to send in their hard earned checks to a
government that will obviously put the money to good uses -- such as pay raises for
politicians who listen to our every word and following around the beauty that is Chelsea
-- we would be happy to do it. I mean, what do they have to worry about. As long as we
don't have to pay for postage, there should be no problem, right? They don't have a
special arm just for that, do they?
9.25.97
Before we kill the inaugural week of Temporal Dysfunction, we should do the topic that
brought it here. Princess Di. (You knew it was coming.) People are bitching about the
lengths the paparazzi go to get a story. Her family was going on about the paparazzi
giving them peace. Well, it won't happen. They had a chance to do that, but then I had to
skip around the funeral with the remote control. Coverage here. Coverage there. When
coverage of a corpse lasts over a week and takes no breaks for the twilight hours, you can
rest assured that whatever safety there was from any facets of the media won't arise. It's
gotten so bad that SDM, in its nonconformist glory, had to
throw in a couple of pennies. The question being pondered here is this: Why in the hell do
you pimp your mug to the media in order to get the media to stop harassment from the
media? Doesn't something cancel out there? If the paparrazzi's smart, they'll hound those
kids of hers until they die to. After all, you can't make money by not doing what you were
trained to do.
We are now finished with Di. May she rest in peace, so that we don't have to hear about
her again.
9.24.97
Just recently that great movie butcher Ted Turner promised to give away $1 billion to the
UN over the next ten years. While this can be seen as a good move since it will provoke
rich people to get bigger write offs in the future, who's it really helping? Turner,
obviously. Sure, he's done good for the animals of this world and now he may POSSIBLY be
helping children everywhere, the fact remains: no one knows where the money's going to go.
It won't help pay off any debts our fair country has incurred for being a bully for the
past century or so. Nor does it make any of us safer than we already are from the invasion
of any real threat. All it does is make a rich man feel better and several lawyers richer.
9.23.97
What should be discussed? Marv "Rump Roaster" Albert, of course. Since the media
will do its best to exploit this trial, why don't we just wonder why it's such a heinous
crime? Kids do it all the time. I did it. You did it. My dog did it. Christian Slater and
Mike Tyson did it and what happened there? It just faded away. (One tidbit of trivia for
you: The rump acher did commentary for the modern day Alive re enactment Tyson vs
Hollyfield. Maybe Tyson was trying to impress somebody). Why is it that Albert can't get
away it? Funny, most celebrities do. Isn't he rich enough? Handsome enough? Powerful
enough? Carry a gun into a terminal and you get a slap on a wrist. Start a couch on fire
and you do PSAs. Run around in the nude shouting at the world while carrying a gun and you
get rehab. Perform some kinky sex action and you go to court. On a worse note, ESPN is
covering "real" news again and while they're at it, they'll be running into the
other "real" journalists from Hard Copy and American Journal. I'm no idiot, I
get my news from the real source, Entertainment Tonight. So, count on good updates from
us. Seriously. Well, no not really. I just wanted to sarcastically attack Entertainment
Tonight.
9.22.97
For the first installment, let's go after something that should be DEAD! OJ Simpson. The
guy who pimped himself in everyway imaginable. Two new books have made their way to
stores. The first, by his ex-girlfriend. The one who can't act. You know, the one who did
Playboy and Micheal Bolton. So, she has no taste. That's not the point. She got $3 million
dollars to write a book about going with a has been. The other one was by his niece. Out
of nowhere, she promises the real deal on her uncle. What a joke. Personally, the book
that should be written is by the guy who manned the camera at the trial. I wouldn't pay
for it, but that leaves him and the stenographer as the only ones yet to profit from this.
If I didn't think this bit was the least bit entertaining, I'd include myself, but I don't
think I'm half bad. Of course, you're getting this crap for free. |
