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"Let's talk about the one who
had my back!" B-Real, No Rest for the Wicked pg. 49 Here goes one for you. Enjoy. hello.i am an sdm 'subscriber' and i contributed to the female issue. i have some complaints about your new 'male' issue.i know you say this male issue is all in jest or poking fun at thestereotypes or whatever, but as a woman i am offended. yeah yeah you knew this would happen, its all in fun, its exposing the stereotypes, blah blah... my main problem is that i dont think you know which of your writers isserious and which is a serious mysogynist. almost all of your articles for this male issue are mysogynistic in some way. to let you know, sarcasm is hardly effective on a computer screen. sure, you can hope that all of your readers are mature or intelligent enough to recognize irony and sarcasm, but the fact is that the Web reaches millions of people, and not all of them will know what is 'sarcastic' and what's not. you are responsible for what you print on your website. i think your new issue will alienate women, as well as attract stupid males who enjoy thinking of women as hysterical, lying, promiscuous, idiotic sex toys. i have a sense of humor, i am a deeply sarcastic individual myself, but humor is one thing and cruelty another. feminism is not somehting to laugh at. its easy for you to laugh, you have an obvious advantage. you are the privileged one. another comment: ben ohmart is a shitty writer who needs to get outta here. so dump him. i am sick of seeing his name. i would love to get a response from you, explaining....-laura barcellaa quick response from Alexis Black: So you're concerned that some people won't be intelligent enough torecognize parody when they see it; is that the problem? So a publication should say exactly what it means and cater solely to idiots, in case an idiot comes along and takes something the wrong way. Wait! Oh my gosh! What if someone writing for the New York Times uses sarcasm, and an idiot reads it and *doesn't get it*? Way more people read the New York Times than sdm. Oh, no, we had better get on the phone with the ed-in-chief right away to make sure the paper doesn't use any literary devices! Did you realize I was being sarcastic? the such: Fuck disOBEY and fuck Total Net NH. Why? They EVICTED us. The former because it was cheaper to get rid of us. The latter because we challenged the tastes and mores that they feel should exist for a moralized amerikana. Well, if that's how amerika has to be, then fuck amerika too. Questions? They will all be answered in this issue throughout. One more thing: Today we begin installments of Brossart Wit and Wisdom. It's our chance at establishing street cred. It's not far off from our religion and it's funny. Enjoy. pg. 178 I've written my ass off this entire week about this one topic, so I will keep it short. Besides,. I am probably the only person discussing this who isn't spouting red hot anger about the situation. SDM has arrived. In the tradition of Vonnegut, Salinger, and the adoption episode of You Can't Do That On Television, SDM has been knocked off (read: banned, censored, condemned). Between all the pieces discussing it this issue, you'll get a good enough idea of how we were knocked off of our host site at disOBEY.com. While I do have a problem with this, I do not blame morbus (our gracious provider) for what happened and understand the predicament he was placed in. As a friend I still hold him in high esteem. He did offer us a space for free, redesigned our site and is letting us keep said design. But considering I had always thought him to be the type that would lay down for nobody and always quick to be the hellraiser I have no choice but to say that I am disappointed in what happened. Devil Shat (an ezine run by morbus) was once kicked off of AOL for several things. What lesson did that teach? Devil Shat struck me as a more probing sdm with the same set of "morals," which one would assume to also apply to disOBEY. Once again I was wrong. I've made a grave mistake here at SDM. When I should've listened to Pete and Seamus, I was busy trying to find that fine line between mainstream and whatever the hell we are so we could straddle it and push it closer to the edge. I was told by these two that it would be a bullshit maneuver. I said no and Seamus quit. In the end, what do we have to show for this? My stupidity. From the deepest depths of my heart, I apologioze to Pete and Seamus as well as anyone else who took sides with them. I am sorry that I listened to someone who doesn't even believe his own talk. With that, I'll let others do some bitching. pg. #2 I was walking around tonight. No, you see, I live in the sticks, so Iwas wandering up and down a deserted road, Food Lion and back, chainsmoking and thinking and being bitten by bugs. I got this feeling...tell me if I'm alone in this...just this general inexplicable overly passionate sensation, like something must happen, my life must be extraordinary, I hold these overwhelming emotions in a head too small to fit them all. And I want to write, which is sort of where this all fits in. If I can just put this feeling into words, if for two seconds I can make you feel the way I do, then I'll be a writer. And then I'll be extraordinary. And then both problems will be solved, won't they? I don't want to go to sleep tonight, because what if I wake up and I'm just mediocre again? But I'm awfully tired. Can you tell? I think I'm skipping around a lot. I meant to make this longer, but I think I got the general idea across, at least most of what's going through my head. Most of the stuff that isn't so personal that you'd never figure out what the hell I'm talking about, anyway. And I really want to go to bed now. Sleep. Yes. Please. pg. 42 well. since tempdys is tempdown this week, (thanks to the "people" over at disOBEY) i guess i'll be current event guy for today. what's happening in the "real" world? how about the kid in georgia who got suspended for wearing a pepsi shirt on coke day? seems that the coca-cola company was sponsoring the school, and the administration had a day to honor them for their valiant efforts. the result was, everyone was supposed to wear clothing that said "Coke", or something similar. well, one kid (who, probably, should be invited to write with sdm) rebelliously wore a pepsi shirt. the young firebrand got suspended, of course, for (and i quote) "rudeness." what else do you expect to get for being rude, and refusing to suck corporate dick? this is the nineties, after all. i think the kid should be given a fucking medal, personally. corporate sponsorship is easily one of the more idiotic ideas i've heard in a while. and i hear a lot of 'em. i can see corporate sponsorship from companies like Apple (even though the computers areshitty), in the form of discounted or free products. but it's gotta be a mistake to have a corporate giant writing checks to public schools. now it's coke... next week it'll be r.j. reynolds, or budweiser. like kids need more caffeine anyway, the hyper little fuckers. oh, and even more people are coming out of the woodwork of trailer trash america to tell how clinton fondled them. kenneth starr is about to start subpoena-ing clinton's underwear. pg. 1812 *1* THE PLOP LECTURE The Plop Lecture is perhaps the key event of my school career, at least where Brossart is involved. It was Friday, November 18, 1988, that these immortal words were irrevocably etched in my mind: "You guys have caused me so much grief! It's like a two-year-old: Plop, there it goes, it's gone!"Those were the words of the unhappy principal when somebody tossed hisbrand-new Star Trek walkie-talkie and other household items into thetoilets. He had it coming, however, for using the Walk-a-Thon as an excuse to spend a whole day showing off the walkie-talkie when he should have been protecting the well-being of the students instead.In The Plop Lecture, the principal also exclaimed, "This is a high school! Not a nursery school or a school for the mentally incapacitated!" Exactly! I don't know of any nursery school where kids stab each other in the hallways. But at most high schools, students don't fish pre-chewed wads of gum out of trash cans and chew them again like they did at Brossart.(Oh yes, he also said, "That's a fucking load of bullshit!") *2* A HEAP OF TROUBLE" Hey! Next person who throws their lock's gonna be in a heap of trouble! This stuff's gettin' old!"The janitor was referring to a metal lock that a student removed from a locker and hurled down a hallway during a riot. Violence was an inevitable part of Brossart life. The school has certainly sufferedhundreds of dollars worth of property damage caused by riots. *3* BRUSHES IN THE SINK Thursday, March 1, 1990. The janitor had to replace the pipes underneath the sink in the art room because of numerous objects that had been stuffed down the drain: modeling wax, paintbrushes, and bottle caps. The art teacher repeatedly shoved a cup of wax-logged paintbrushes instudents' faces and asked, "Put any brushes down the sink lately?" He went on to say, "It's a shame, but it's not nearly as much of a shame that the brushes got ruined than that I can't treat high school students like adults."Perhaps the destruction that dogged Brossart so often back then should be viewed as payback for the school's shady financial practices. Brossart is a proprietary institution, trying to turn a profit with every student. According to one of the ketchup-stained student handbooks in my collection, folks were fined $0.50 if caught with an uncovered textbook. The penalty was $1 for chewing gum, and also $1 to replace a lost demerit slip that cost the school a fraction of a cent. Book fees sometimes ran in double digits.Instead of using "charity first" as its motto, Brossart should have used "money first". Or "education last" pg. 522 PBW is too much of nice guy. His primary concern is taking sdm to the next level of popularity and remain friends with the folks who stepped over us on their way up as well as stay friends with our so-called enemies. Let me offer up some thoughts on the situation that went down. In the beginning... The bullshit... pg. 4 Kinda like the guy who told me that he saw a really small Bob Saget pissing on the chair he was sitting in. Or the person who swore that he was the one who was crapping in a bucket and keeping it for rations, I'm here to lie and annoy you! Not because it's fun (although it is) and not because I get pleasure out of watching people call me a bastard and a disgrace to human shit, (although, i don't mind), but because I just want to. Think about it. I find it completely amazing that someone would do something as low as annoying people because they simply want to. That's why I respect the kids who shot all those innocent little girls at that school in the south. (I think it was in Arkansas, but I could be wrong.) I want toshake the hands of those little bastards. What could be more entertaining? Watching the faces of the little kids as their classmates hit the ground in a mess of crushed skull and blood. Too bad they got caught really. And I know what you're thinking. OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOO YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON CHRIS, well fuck off. i can feel any way I want to feel and you can't change my opinion, you can only dislike it, which is fine by me because i want you to. and while we are on this thing about people only wanting to disagree with other people just get them mad and disturbed because they thought they were on "top". There are two things wrong in the world. WOMEN VOTING AND THE BIBLE. both are innapropiate and just plain wrong. anddissagree all you want, i don't care. just don't tell me how i shouldfeel. that's the real thing that's wrong. well, and women voting and the bible.*hope you got your jollies* pg. --- I loaned my jumper You hauled it on, trowel smoothed its shape A Revlon smear corrugated your nose
Inside Later, my gift lay discarded on a chair. Raised to inhale Now I lie My mind holds the power pg. 65 WEBSTER'S meaningful a. of great meaning or significance coincide vi. 1. happen together 2. agree exactly --co'incidence n.--co'incident a. coinciding --coinci'dental a. So, according to Webster's a meaningful coincidence is something thathappens together and has great meaning, or a significant event in which everything agrees exactly. I can't presume to think for the rest of you but I have experienced many meaningful coincidences. I firmly believe that the more in touch with ourselves that we become, the more aware we can be of the many meaningful coincidences we experience. They are far more frequent than you may realize. Whatever your religion, it does not matter what you believe, we all believe in ourselves. Many of us believe there is a Higher Power managing everything. But whatever you believe meaningful coincidences cannot be mere chance. These coincidences go hand in hand with that ancient feeling termed deja vu. All of this has great significance and more often than not a great impact on our lives. Take some time today and re-evaluate your past, whether near or far. Look for those coincidences you experienced. Did they ever lead anywhere? Did it earn you a good friend, a lover, a spouse, a pet, a car anything. The connections coincidences make touch every aspect of our lives. How deeply have you been affected without even knowing it? If possible, look for those same coincidences in the future. Then, when they happen, you can find their true meaning and power and use it to its fullest. It'stime we all broadened our horizons. What about you? pg. 113.5 As you should already know by now is that sdm was dropped by disOBEY. Below are some positive motives for the actions perpetrated by disOBEY and it's ring leader, morbus. Forgive the pop culture and history references, I'm feeling like a scholar. The reasons (in no particular order): morbus is a pawn pg. 18 Reprinted (with permission) from Nothing To Declare So, yeah. Another page where I get to talk about my insecurities. What is it with me? Lately I've been trying to figure out what's going on inside my head. I've kind of lost perspective and forgotten whether I'm normal or screwed up. I used to know. I think it's a 51%-49% thing, but I think maybe it's not as balanced as that. Some of the time I'm feeling really positive about everything I do, but a lot of the time I concentrate on just hating myself. Now I used to (not so long ago) devote that energy to hating everything else, which felt a hell of a lot more healthy than this does. But I just have to resign myself to regular Complex Weekends, that's when it usually really hits, right when I should be enjoying myself. Everything I do results with me thinking the same thing: cringe. I'm just not cool enough, it seems. I don't think anyone else gives a damn and that's as it should be, but I'm still wasting my time wanting to BE somebody. It's an ego thing really but I get so screwed up that it seems only reasonable. I'm busy hating myself for every stupid thing I do - every stupid thing that no-one notices or cares about anyway, and who gives a damn if they do? Even now I'm thinking about Bad Moments when I did or said something dumb. Dammit. I don't think I'm ever going to really be satisfied with myself anyway and I know I just have to come to terms with myself, and most particularly the past, which I've just been trying to ignore because thinking about it doesn't exactly help. I don't carve things into my arms or take overdoses or do any of that stuff that screwed up/depressed people do by definition. I just hate. Oh yeah, I have an appetite problem a lot of the time but I wouldn't go so far to say EATING DISORDER and I don't know why it is ... why not just that I don't feel like eating? The problem is not with my looks, which I'm OK about, and anyone who knows me, knows I would be insane if I thought I was fat. So it's not like that. Another thing I could maybe blame stuff on is PMT but I don't know. Sometimes it seems handy to blame things on and sometimes I want to believe that my emotions are not linked to my menstrual cycle. It's just hard to tell whether I'm likely to get tearful for no apparent reason at any old time of the month. To go all melo-dramatic on you, I feel pain inside, it's as simple as that. Stupidly I'm not going into the possible reason for it here, which is so dumb of me and not the first time I've done this in my zine. Something stops me from telling all to a fair amount of strangers. I want to just convert the pain back into anger, as it was before, during heated moments ... but it's still pain anyway. I want to distract myself from self-hate and concentrate on another person, who isn't to blame for any problems I may have nowadays, but had a fair bit to do with my childhood. After trying to get to grips with it for years, I started considering the forgive-and-forget approach, but seeing him again made me want to smash a bottle through his skull. So I'd much rather concentrate on fantasising about his slow and painful punishment instead of spending my time hating myself. No, it isn't an ex-boyfriend thing. Or sexual abuse either, which I'm thankful for of course. I just have a few little things to clear up with him, like years of pain, and a therapist's bill. I thank you. Not to sound corporate or anything, but this is the way it goes. The newsletter and its concept belongs to Mongoose Type Entertainment. Anything written belongs to the respective authors, so please don't go ripping any of us off. We're not getting paid for this, and you shouldn't either, so don't be an asshole, go write something yourself. Give credit where credit's due. Everyone here does what seems to be a good job, so all we're asking is that you respect that. et tu, Brute? |
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