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pg. 23. . .girl such c1997-1998 Mongoose Type Entertainment |
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"I probably did know him. I probably dated him." pg. 23 One could write a billion things about feminism, about being a girl, about loving or hating it (but mostly loving it), about how people treat girls, about using and abusing girliness, but what is there to say that hasn't been said? Honestly. Especially about this. Especially in this, our endlessly discussed decade. Hi. I'm Alexis. Mr. B. Whitley isn't allowed to work on this issue because of that whole penis thing. So I'm your boss today. As for all that editor-related stuff (I'm still pissed that I didn't actually get to write a piece for this): Deadlines for male issue: 3.15.98. Details: stu06311@aug.edu. You should submit stuff now, because writing for SDM is easy. News: there's a new site (http://www.disobey.com/sdm/) check it out. You should submit stuff now, just in case stuff happens to you. I'm tired of this. Here's the issue: pg. 6 Rock journalists will point to chick-rock icons like the Runaways and the Raincoats as the precursors to the Riot Grrl Takeover of the early 1990s, in which many womyn (concentrated in the Seattle and Olympia, WA areas) were inspired to learn three chords and write swear words on their bare midriffs with Magic Marker while snarling incomprehensibly into a crappy microphone. While of course these are all great musicians, they don't really embody the DIY spirit and rock aesthetic that is Riot Grrrl. I submit to you the TRUE influence on Riot Grrrl: Josie and the Pussycats. Why Josie and the Pussycats? 1. First and foremost, they were the first all-female band on TV. They were also positive role models, with the exception of dumb-blonde drummer Melody, who is admirable only for her considerable rhythm. Josie was a beautiful, talented guitarist. And Valerie on tambourine was the first female minority cartoon heroine (bonus points for equality- within-equality). 2. Of course the name, which contains one of the confrontational words Riot Grrrls like to scream the most. 3. They were an early DIY (do it yourself, for the uninitiated) success story, as they achieved international fame on the basis of their live show alone, as they never released any albums on the show (their network tried to capitalize on the show's success later by releasing an "album" of the songs played over the chase scenes, but as they never scored a ghost-sung megahit like their Riverdale school chums The Archies did with "Sugar Sugar", it has not been rereleased on CD. If anyone knows where to obtain a copy, please let me know). They were able to tour the world with their small entourage (Alex, Alexandra, Alan, and Sebastian the cat) and play virtually anywhere -- it's even in the theme song: "See ya all in Persia, or maybe France, we could be in India, or perchance be with us in Bangkok." I rest my case. 4. Josie and the Pussycats never let a bad experience with a sinister villain nor a poorly attended show kick in their confidence in themselves as artists. Case in point: the episode where they fulfill the theme song promise and go to India, where they promptly rescue the princess from an evil sultan. That night they go to perform at a Taj Mahal-looking nightclub, with a neon sign announcing "Tonight: Josie and the Pussycats, from America", yet nobody but the Pussy's entourage is actually inside the club, despite the fact that they just saved the princess of the damn country that very day. You'd think they'd get a little publicity outta that, wouldn't you? Well, they keep right on playing. And after the show do they carp and bitch? No. Alan (Josie's boytoy), proclaims happily, "Josie and the Pussycats are the biggest band in the world!" (Alan is supportive, but not very bright.) And the next week, they're off to another gig. True artists, baby. Whiny MTV alt-rockers could learn something here. (Meredith Brooks, are you listening?) 5. The logistics of this argument do indeed make sense when you consider that most of today's Riot Grrl bands are comprised mostly of members in their late twenties/early thirties, which would pinpoint their childhood at right around the time J&TP went into syndication. It's obvious that future purveyors of this movement (Kathleen Hanna, Erin Smith, and possibly even Courtney Love) were exposed to Josie and the Pussycats at a young age, and due to syndication, exposed to them so frequently in reruns that they had every song memorized by the time they overtook their parents' garages. The greatest cable channel around, The Cartoon Network (God bless 'em), is rerunning Josie and the Pussycats as well as its ill-conceived spin-off Josie & the Pussycats In Outer Space for the new breed of future Riot Grrrls. One can only dream what they shall achieve when inspired by the Pussy's cheerful harmonies and impeccable stage attire. pg. 5 You know, I've spent over 13 years supporting a man, supporting a whole family. I thought, when I was a naive young girl, that a woman should be strong and stand on her own. I was proud of my accomplishments. Not anymore. Society has really screwed the whole deal up. You either look like Barbie and find a Ken to support you or you do the supporting. Well, I'm not blonde . . . I'm a redhead. I'm not stupid or fragile . . . but I want my pedestal back (sing to the tune of Meatloaf's "I Want My Money Back"). I want to be pampered and at a strong man's mercy. Oooohhh, the thought gives me chills. I want to spend my day cleaning and cooking. Dress up and look like a beauty pagaent queen every evening. Serve him his food, get him his slippers. I will never touch the remote control, I promise. I will dye my hair blonde and starve so I can be Barbie. As it is, I have worked so hard to support my family, I have a Barbie figure. But alas, it is too late. I want to be the William Wallace of women and fight for our right to NOT be free. I want to fight for male supremacy. I don't ever want to open another door, I want someone to order my food in a restaurant... and I promise to like it no matter what it is. I am naming my organization WWW (William Wallace for Women) and everyone subscribes daily. It is hard to go anywhere unless you go through WWW. So, obviously, women's rights is a thing of the past. History doth repeat itself and the time for a woman to be a woman has returned. Strive to be Barbie, Pamela Anderson, Scarlett O'Hara, or any other well paid, beautiful woman that is supported by wonderful male chauvinists. Without her tits and looks would Pamela Anderson be as popular today? No. It is the male genre that has brought her and many other women and placed them on their pedestals. It is our God given right as women to have a pedestal of our own. I need mine to reach the spice rack, anyway. So be weak, be stupid, be a woman. Otherwise you must be a lesbian! I want a knight in armor . . . shining would be nice, but tarnished will work. I can always clean it. pg. 4 Initially, I was not a feminist. My mother is a feminist, and quite often I find that her views on men appall me. So I chose to ignore, for the greater part of my youth as of yet, sexism and dominance issues. But my mother's consistent male bashing lit a spark. I tried to push it to the back of my mind, but it was no use. Battle of the sexes is everywhere - politics, social life, television, and school. I tried not to care. I got in with the guys and snickered at their sexist remarks. But I found myself standing among the shadows while my gutsy counterpart females were being cut down in the limelight. Sex discrimination never really touched me directly until it started happening on the Internet as well. An email banter began between me and some guy who didn't like my page. I wouldn't have cared, really truly wouldn't have, had he not brought on the name-calling. I know, sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. But being called a fucking bitch, whore, slut, dumb chick and being accused of being on my "time of the month" in every sentence eventually wore me down. The spark ignited a raging fire. I got mad. About a week into the argument I let loose a string of profanity and insults, deserting my pride in the process. He called me a lesbian feminist bitch and called it a day, probably forgot about it within 5 minutes. It was nothing to him, but he had challenged my whole world. I was insulted, to say the least. What little was left of my pride had been crushed. I gave up. I'm not a lesbian, but I'm not homophobic like he is. I'm not a feminist, but I think I have the right to stand up for myself against someone who attacks my gender. Am I wrong? Normally I won't desert a fight, but my soul couldn't bear it much longer. And I can't forget, because it touched me so deeply, that one useless incident found its way into my soul. But why should I feel guilty about being female? Had I had any ammunition to use against these people who hate, I would use it. It's just so pointless. He's so ignorant and chauvinistic and self-indulged, there's not a lot I could do, it wouldn't change him anyhow. Why does anybody stand for this bullshit? People tend to say they're strong enough to stand on their own. I am too, but I was knocked off my feet by something I've never understood the roots of. Why demean? This battle is one against decades of a patriotic society. I could not win; it's so much larger than I am. I'm tired of cowering under what I cannot stop. But don't get me wrong. I'm not a feminist. I still love it when a guy pays my way at the movies or holds the door open for me. But I can't say I don't care. pg. 3 laddy-freaking dah. SDM's female issue. Aren't we all just thrilled to death? Don't misunderstand me here. I'm not trying to disgrace my gender or anything of that sort. I'm just sick of all the Spice Girls-Girl-Power hype that's been invading TV for way too long. I mean, it's great that they're all so happy to be female. It's better than hating your sex and getting it changed. There's something inherently wrong with that. But there is such a thing as taking it all too far. Like those stupid keychains with a ruler on them that say "Girls rule, boys drool." Oh, that's so original. I'm sure no one ever said that in fourth grade, either. Girl power is B.S. Do you know why the Spice Girls are powerful? Because they have a lot of money and there are a lot of would-be hookers out there who are just waiting for someone to say when. The only power there is is money. And anyone can have that. Hell, my sister's cat makes more money than I do. The stupid thing is in commercials. My friend sent me this little song -- the Woman Song. I don't know if you've ever heard it, so in case you haven't, here's the words:
It's a beautiful song, isn't it? All you little feminists probably think it's just a joke. But that's because you don't want to admit that you scream and jump on a chair when you see a cockroach. But you'll be damned if they don't let you into the Citadel!! Yep, I am woman, blah, blah, blah. I am invincible -- as long as you get that icky spider off the floor -- no, don't step on it! You'll get its spider cooties in the carpet. As soon as you kill it, clean the carpet. The spider cooties might make me sick! I'm a modern woman. I have a high-paying job. And I'm fine the way I am -- but there's not a chance in hell I'm telling you how much I weigh! I know, this was all very satirical. But there's a point in all this female-bashing in a female issue. What I'm trying to say is that if you want to be treated like a human being, act like one. Don't be a hypocrite or a male-basher. I'm sure guys really like it when you call them chauvinistic pigs. Like you're not being sexist by assuming all guys are the same -- even though most of them are -- or by assuming that you have to be pushy to get ahead because you are female. One of the biggest mistakes that you can ever make is to assume that you're going to be disadvantaged because you're female. This is already about seven issues long, so I'll conclude... actually, I'm not sure what the point of writing this was... OK, I just thought of a point. I didn't write this to insult women. I wrote this to poke fun at minor hypocrisies and feminism. I mean, it's okay to like being female, but it's not okay to loooooooooove being female. You have to draw the line somewhere. pg. 2 Feminism: what is it, and why are people afraid of it? Webster's New World Dictionary defines feminism as "the principle that women should have political, economic, and social rights equal to those of men." Feminism. Most intelligent people have an idea what the fuss is about-- why women have a right to be angry, why it is time for women to demand standards of living as high as a man's. Most people can understand, to some degree, the value of feminist thought and action. It makes sense that after countless years of oppression, alienation, and devaluing, many women want to take this very moment to use long-stifled voices to set a change in motion. Feminism makes sense. Women of all ages, shapes, colors, and backgrounds have been negatively affected by the misogynist society we inhabit. Yet feminism is still considered a bad word, and the number of women willing to use the term "feminist" to describe themselves is alarmingly low. It's a well-known theory that men are afraid of feminism because they feel threatened by the possibility of female dominance. Yet why are women afraid to classify themselves as feminists? Why do many women fear a word which represents a movement designed expressly for their own health, security, and well-being? It seems that male-dominated society's perception of feminism has affected many women's consciousness. Thus, many women are reluctant to describe themselves in an unpleasant light. The stereotypical feminist has most of the traits women are taught to repress in themselves from a very young age. The stereotypical feminist is physically unattractive, "masculine" in appearance and manner (with hairy armpits and unshaven legs), man-hating, angry, defensive, and hysterical. She is aggressive yet paranoid, and she is never satisfied. She is everything deemed "unfeminine," therefore unacceptable to society (and sexually unattractive to men). The fear of rejection for not living up to societal standards is, I believe, what makes many women hesitant to associate themselves with feminism. What we (women) need to remember is why acceptance is unimportant in the first place. Why worry about being accepted by a society that alienates and marginalizes you? Why bother trying to impress a society which won't be satisfied with your behavior or your appearance unless it fits into a rigid definition of "the feminine," "the feminine" always meaning small, irrelevant, and controllable. There's simply not enough space in that tiny box for me, or you, to fit into. pg. 1 So let's stop pretending we're changing things and accept the reality. A woman will never be judged for more than her looks no matter any other personal criteria. There. Now this is said. The final insult to any illusion that this is not the case disappeared the year Sports Illustrated began the infamous swimsuit edition. Every yokel and their brother is no fool that the sort of fellow that reads Sports Illustrated is really all that concerned about the coming season's female swimming attire. I've never seen a "Jockstrap" edition of Ladies Home Journal is what I'm saying here. Give it up, women of the world! Young and slinky female models sell cars, pizza and tuna fish. Disabuse yourself of any notion that such sleazy tactics are such of bygone eras. The ultimate hypocrisy reared its ugly head in an Internet newsgroup I frequent. It was another poster that pointed it out but she was righter than rain. And this realization did depress me. It was a true crime newsgroup, an international group of people unduly concerned with the criminal mind. They had, for several days, debated, ranted and raved that children's beauty pageants (as in Jonbenet Ramsey) were terrible events that cause little girls to form erroneous concepts of what's "important" about growing up female. On its surface I agreed whole-heartedly. Then the topic turned to the infamous Paula Jones of Clinton's nemesis. Post upon post it went, complaints about Paula's nose, questions that even Clinton would stoop so low, comments on "big hair" and how it looks cheap. They say the "politically correct" thing with one side of their mouth, then say the reality of it all when the discussion to turns to any female in the news. IE: How UGLY is she? Since things will never change, I have some suggestions. We start a separate state for all unattractive, too fat, or too skinny, females. Just as soon as a daughter is born, her DNA is studied and computer profiles generated that estimate her looks in the years to come. If it doesn't look like good news, the parents are told, softly and with diplomacy, that perhaps it best to arrange to have the female child relocated to this separate state where she will grow up with her own kind. Do not lie to the girl. Tell her right up front and forget any hypocrisy that looks aren't important, that hard work, guts, talent... forget all that. Even Clinton won't ask an ugly woman to fellate him, except Paula Jones if you read the popular opinions. Which dwell, let me restate, not on the accuracy of her charge but on the feasibility that such an ugly woman would be approached. Why risk broken hearts? If the computer profile determines the female child will be unattractive, send her to the designated uglyville state. This way we will have all the ugly women situated in one state and out of eyesight of males so interested in swimsuit Sports Illustrateds. Men will know instinctively to mind their driving route as to avoid risking automobile damage by ugly women. Then, and only then, will the reality of a world populated by beautiful swimsuit fitted women come to pass. The ugly daughters in the uglyville state will not kill themselves slowly by throwing up, ingesting laxatives, or countless plastic surgeries. Since we are not a cruel nation, these unattractive woman will be allowed to pursue some sort of life. They might concentrate better on school, training, and their career. In fact, it might be a good idea to look to this uglyville state to fill those job slots that require a female for quota purposes. The lines of demarcation between attractive and intelligent would be more clearly defined under my proposal. Though there might be a problem for the daughters born with looks and brains, I consider this to be such an unusual occurrence as to need no further addressing. boom Domestic violence. It is a term usually thought of as the battery of one spouse by another, or the abuse of elderly parents, or the beating of a child.... But how often do we think of childhood sexual abuse as domestic violence? Rarely. It's time we think again.... My name is Marlana Fury and I am a "survivor" of childhood sexual abuse. I used to think I was the only one. When I reached adulthood, I figured I was probably one of only a few. As time went on, I realized there were MANY of us, but I didn't realize HOW many, until I started a webpage for survivors. What I thought would be a small page dedicated to survivors of childhood sexual abuse has turned into an enormous undertaking -- over 100 pages of survivor stories, links to literally 100's of pages like my own (which represent an untold number of survivors out there), a very active forum, and a chat room. I average more than 30 hits a day and receive between 40 to 50 emails a day -- the majority of which are cries for help from people who have been silent far too long. Why have we been silent? Because, for the most part, society in general doesn't want to HEAR us. We learned this when our parents either ignored us or, worse, blamed us; we learned it when neighbors who suspected remained silent; we learned it when the "system" abused us a second time by putting us into foster homes without proper monitoring, or sticking us in mental wards without bothering to get the right kind of help for us, or ignoring us completely. And we especially learned it when the courts released our abusers back into society to prey again. Children have no rights in this society. It is proven time and time again in the courts when children are treated like property instead of as human beings with rights. Children are ripped from loving homes, screaming and crying, to be returned to their "real" parents when there has been no bond established with their "real" parents. Parents fight over "custody" and the courts give very little regard to the desires of the child. Worse, courts release child molesters back into society, allowing them to prey on children again and again and again. Statistics have shown that a child molester is RARELY, if EVER, rehabilitated, and that the average child molester has well over 100 victims in their lifetime. Child molesters who were honest have told researchers that, if they are released into society, they WILL "offend" again. And yet, we ignore what is right in front of our faces and do nothing. Child molesters, once convicted, should be put behind bars for life -- with no possibility of parole. You think this too harsh? Consider the lifetime of trauma left for the child who is the victim of a child molester's offense. A child predator murders the soul of a child, steals their innocence, shatters their boundaries so they are never quite sure again just where their boundaries should be, tramples their ability to ever trust again, and burdens them with a shroud of guilt for something they were totally powerless to prevent -- and all so they can satisfy their own selfish sexual desires. The children are left with a lethal legacy, a fallout of symptoms they must battle for the rest of their lives, including depression, suicide, disassociation, self-injury, eating disorders, insecurity, flashbacks, agoraphobia -- the list is long and lengthy and extremely debilitating to the healthy growth of a child into an adult. Their entire life is overshadowed by the "offense" of a child predator. If you were or are a victim, talk about it! Tell anyone and everyone who will listen to you. The more you talk about it, the less your memories will haunt you, and just as importantly, the more people will realize that this is NOT an uncommon occurrence -- that it is all too prevalent. And if at all possible, you must do whatever it takes to have your perpetrator put behind bars so that they can never hurt another child again. You must stop the Silence so that others like you will be less likely to suffer as you have. If you have reason to suspect child sexual abuse, call the authorities. Call your local Children's Services, tell them what you suspect and why, and let them handle the investigation. You might be wrong, but you might be right -- and the chance that you might be right, the chance that you could stop a child from suffering the destruction of their soul, is every reason in the world for you to STOP the Silence! If you knew a child is being abused, call the police. Stop the Silence and stop this poor child's suffering!!! If you know a victim, listen when they open up and talk to you about their experience -- no matter how many times they bring it up. You don't need to do anything but be there for them -- allow them to STOP the Silence. And all of us need to demand stronger laws to protect our children from child predators. All too often, even when convicted, these people serve a few years (if that) in prison and are then released back into society to prey on our innocent children yet again. STOP the Silence! Write or email your congressmen, state and federal, and demand that they support stricter laws for convicted child molesters!! We need to demand that the law protects our neighborhoods by informing us when a convicted child molester moves into the area. How can we protect our children from a monster who wears the friendly face of our next door neighbor, a church counselor, a teacher? We have the right to know who and what they are so we can take the necessary steps needed to protect our children!! They lost all their "rights" to privacy when they used that privilege to steal the innocence of a child! Help to STOP the Silence that our current laws choke us with, preventing us from being able to properly protect our innocent children. It is our very silence that allows child predators to thrive in our society. It is our very silence that allows them to prey on our children -- our silence that keeps them from getting the punishment they deserve for their crimes -- our silence which allows organizations which promote child/adult sex to exist. And until we STOP the Silence, the abuse will continue unabated. If you want to know more about this subject, please visit my website at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7130/survivors.html Thank you for listening. I lived most of my life in silence and fear. Silence because I was sure nobody wanted to listen. Fear because I was afraid of their reaction if they did listen. No one heard me when I was a child. Please hear me now. "All that is required for the triumph of evil is that good people remain silent and do nothing." --Edmund Burke Not to sound corporate or anything, but this is the way it goes. The newsletter and its concept belongs to Mongoose Type Entertainment. Anything written belongs to the respective authors, so please don't go ripping any of us off. We're not getting paid for this, and you shouldn't either, so don't be an asshole, go write something yourself. Give credit where credit's due. Everyone here does what seems to be a good job, so all we're asking is that you respect that. She thought she'd live forever, but forever always ends. |
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