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pg. 49. . .Editorials & such c1997-1998 Mongoose Type Entertainment |
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"Twenty million piss on my name everyday." pg. 49 For some strange reason, SDM was popular this time around. From: Desdemona Balthsan
And to you goes the response: You know I hate the rich as much as the next guy. Some are evil, more so than anybody here, but who in the fuck cares if they've got money. I never hated a person for having money, just the way they acted because of it. Sure some of those people need good ass kickings so that the eyes get opened, but other than that they aren't messing with me. So, are you saying that you've got a thing against Jews? I'll leave it right there and maybe you can answer that one. One more thing. 250/week? What in the hell do you do? In the real world that usually decides the pay scale. Have you ever thought maybe she's doing something with the money you should be getting that you would probably never do. Give it away to charity. Believe it or not, most rich people have a thing for that. From: AOLoser
Our needless response: Normally, I would have to agree, but I believe the root of this evil goes deeper. I think it's an alignment of bad events. Once we stop hearing about Princess DIe, Chelsea Clinton, and if Rocky Mountain High Snow Ski-Football becomes an ordained sport, Hanson will leave, but on the darkside, we may be able to get rid of them in exchange for an NKOTB reunion album and possible movie. The Spice Girls, however, will always linger. From: Morbus
Our needed response: You know, rather than waste everyone's time with this I'll just be up front about it. No. Forget it. Not just no, but hell no. I looked at the shindig you've got going on over there and its nice but SDM is an independent entity and it doesn't need to be in the shadow of some holier than thou ezine. On behalf of SDM, I thank you for the offer but it really wouldn't work out. Although, on a bright note, I forwarded a copy of your message to Seamus & Whitley and for the helluvit, G. Nih Ton. Maybe he'll discover "devil shat" and be off. the such: While we promised new things for the new year, I cannot say that I anticipated this. It seems that our esteemed Mr. Seamus will no longer be able to join us at the office for those special fireside chats. He can explain just fine without me. One new thing is the name change. Socially Deranged Publications is now Mongoose Type Entertainment. Nobody bought us out. Another change is a new editor. Let me just be the first to say that I hope she'll be able to stick around for the 10th annual monthly picnic we hold every week at the office. Many have tried to and failed. On to stuff that involves you. You won't see us again till Valentine's Day, not that you'll be going anywhere. Speaking of which, we're running a special bsq for the occasion so send any lame, stupid ass questions revolving around Heart Day here . They probably won't run in the issue, but you'll see them on the site. Of course, we can always make exceptions for those who write in and ask us nicely to send you a copy. If you've got any "nice" little articles that would fit into our Valentine themed edition send them here on or before 2.7.98. We are still on the lookout for any females interested in chipping in for that all female spectacular. If you think you qualify, drop a line here. pg. 180 This is the first thing I've written for SDM and I feel obligated to introduce myself, but I'd feel stupid if I just sat here and told you my name, hair color, bra size, and favorite movie, so how's about we combine Introduction and Typical Purpose? I'll introduce myself by bitching about my most self-defining pet peeve. Are we all agreed on this one? Okay. Christians. dammit. Christians. Well, all religion sucks just on general principle, but I live in America... in the Bible Belt, I might add... and everyone is Christian. We have campus preachers, for chrissakes! They hand out little pamphlets about evil guys who drink too much and girls who have sex and how horrible hell is. The whole idea of mystical things is just silly. It's like believing in Santa Claus, and you just want to shake these people and yell "You're too old to believe in this now, stupid! Grow out of it!" The thing is, religion has obviously survived just because there are too many people in the world who take what their parents told them for granted. It never occurred to them to think for themselves. THAT'S what bugs me about it. Religion is just evidence of stupid people overrunning the damn planet. These stupid people start making laws, like laws about sex and marriage and alcohol and narcotics, laws that revolve around a Christian mentality, and now you just want to shake them and yell "Haven't you ever heard of the separation of church and state?!?!?" Stupid morality. Stupid ethics. Stupid Christians. I'm out of room, but you'll hear much, much, much more of this later. Trust me. pg. 3.1416 First, let me say that I will not stand to see SDM prostituting itself, especially to any setup with ".com" as a catchy close to its address. For those just joining us, the "s" is for "sellouts'. I think I would feel a little safer if a cop pulled his gun on me every once in a while. With that note and maybe a verse or two, I take my leave of SDM as both senior editor and rare contributer. In retrospect, I should have seen what a quaint little house of horrors we and the internet have built for ourselves here. The purity of the theatrics on which both SDM and society were founded taught me a newer, clearer vision of what a future we were molding each moment I could bear living it. What I've learned most recently, and with irrevocable finality, is that credo and honor and so on, are vague, distant words, and that no one is without a dagger. So fare you as well as you may manage. For the family and its blind children. But I won't cry about it. pg. 178 I've got writer's block and hopefully, something like this can drum up some inspiration for whatever it is I may need it for. Let just dribble on until it hits me and then I'll stop. If it gets too long, I'll just stop. What's going on here? For starters, we've had some changes, but they've been addressed by the big man with attitude. Last issue we had a thing about our mistakes. Let me discuss that. Over the months, we've done some stupid things, and for the most part they were all my fault. I talked Seamus into doing shit that normally he wouldn't do and we've had to suffer through it. How many of you remember that Cindy crap? I can't forget it. In fact, I've got a copy posted to my door, so that I'll never make a mistake like that again. I knew the person and thought it could be good if we flaunted some more artistic talent. I was wrong. If it makes anyone feel better, I have not talked that person since she offered to finish it after walking away from, shall we say, mysterious circumstances. We've also made some other mistakes, all due to contacts I had and believed would make this thing even better. You know what? I was wrong. In order for something to work on SDM, the logic thing to do would be to let it start out with a staffer and then let an outsider grow into it. Never just give into someone who doesn't know the ways of us. Right now, we have a new editor coming in. She seems pretty cool and so far, so good. Only time will tell, but before she was offered the job she had to be warmed up to. If things fuck up this time, I'll just blame Seamus. All in all it should be cool to be the primary editor now that Seamus is gone. There won't be much of a change, but it means I can call the shots. I can be a dictator. I should start by firing the ones that make my skin crawl. This would include Max Reagan. I never liked him. He's a pussy, but he is kind of good for us. Who else is going to bitch on about our mistreatment of travesties. To paraphrase Hitler: "If society was not fucked up, we'd have to fuck it for them." BTW, Hitler had some good quotes, if I offended you with his name, get over it, I'm not espousing his beliefs. And one more thing, I'm finished, but the block's still there. pg. 257 You know, since coming to this little, shit-in-the-hole-whatchamacallit, I've been more prone to "surf the net." Not only that, but I am noticing a lot more things associated with the net. For example, every single time I look at the fucking square god, what do I see? A U-R-L. Sickening. Not only that, I was fixing lunch and what do I see? www.oscarmeyer.com. I probably got it wrong, but you know who the hell I'm talking about. I suppose the evil that comes with this so-called good thing is that any and everybody wants a piece of it. To make it worse, any and everybody can get a piece of it. SDM is here, isn't it? Let me lapse into idealism for a moment and say that the children can learn from this. And from that learning I can benefit as well. For one thing, it's a lot less likely that I'll have to wait at a checkout longer because some little shit decided to shoplift a Playboy and everyone has to play Kojak. Now they can download the thing. Furthermore, there will be a lot less kids going trick or treating this year, which means no unwanted punks ringing a doorbell, egging a door, or yelling "trick or treat." Instead, they'll be online chatting to some 45 year old pervert who claims to be a 13 year old girl. It may be bad for you and yours but it sure as hell is good for me. c1997 G. Nih Ton. Reprinted with permission. pg. 215 You know, all this trash that's being dumped right at cigarettes' butts is great, having the corporations pay off big time, and the human race getting a little bit back out of the mega-mind control that's been going on ever since Bogy first mumbled something black and white, but what about the booze, baby? I never hear about the Booze. I want to hear something about The BOOOOZE. If the point of restricting cigarettes is that they kill, in or out of your mouth, it seems to me that beer, hard stuff and wine does just as much damage. But it's never talked about. It's treated as dramatic by the poets who want to lead cool, self-destructive lives; it's let on tv as the most imaginative of the commercials (unfortunately, the biggest bucks hire the cleverest gag writers); and it's not an in thing to talk about booze killing. But it takes the lives of 1000s of people each year: this second hand smoke of having a woozy hand behind the wheel pick off pedestrians. And it kills the drinkers. Is it a slower death? I thought lung cancer took just as long as dying from a drowned liver? How come drinks and smokes aren't on the same level? Of course drinking is a social activity; and sometimes you look cooler lighting up by yourself. Safety and acceptance in numbers? Maybe that's it. It can't be the cash. Cigars, cigarettes, and pipes bring in just as much cash from the zombies as the drinking does. Of course, you can drink faster than you can smoke. Maybe that's it. You can get plastered. And it's an alternative to pills, cheaper even, if you buy by the bottle instead of haunting pubs. Yeah, that's right, there are no smoking clubs anymore, are there? Or were there Ever in the US? Besides, other things went on in smoking clubs besides smoking anyway. But on a college campus, you can set up shop to look grown-up, be a real man and push back a lot of liquor in one swaying sitting. If you're a three pack a day man, no one really cares. They can't watch you smoke them all, can they? It's got to be looked at in a different light, or the same light, drinking. People will have to consider that what they do will ultimately harm another person at some point. Non-smokers could hold their noses and put up an unamused wall of trashy looks and uninterest. But until we start holding our noses at the drink that could hit us later, it's not going to happen, nothing's going to change. You can smell the smoke on you immediately. It hurts your senses. It's dramatic, you See what it does, it rises, it causes coughs Immediately. What does that second hand drink do? I guess it's going to have to do Something to get us concerned enough. Either that or hit a Mayor's son. Yeah, that's it, jocks. Swerve for some Names. pg. 007 I was in the room with 60 Minutes not really watching it and on there was a story about a child molester. I purposely didn't pay attention, but I did sneak in a few peaks and let me shed some thoughts on what I did see. As you may or may not know I have very strong opinions on the whole child molestation issue, so I will not, in any way, attempt to restrain myself. Let me also add that anything I say is not for the benefit for hellraising, but because I sincerely believe these things. On the other hand, if you ask my opinion in two weeks, maybe I'll have something different to say. The guy on 60 Minutes wanted to put the past where it was and move on. I say: go ahead, let him. At the risk of sounding like a bleeding heart liberal and all around pansy, I bought the tears the guy was dishing out. This isn't why I'm buying into this story. He wants to stop all the molestation and hopefully forget about it. From my understanding, most molesters don't admit to it, which means they wouldn't say they want to put it in the past. He knew he was wrong and that's cool. Sure, he fucked up some pretty good lives and that's unforgivable, but at the same time he's living with the crimes, too. If it really is the hell he claims it to be, then he's suffering as much, if not more, than all the children he gave pain to. What I also caught on the show was a victim was who going on about how this guy was bullshitting his way out of the crimes in order to kiss the public ass. The problem I have with her is that she won't forgive. Me? I'm a cynical son of a bitch, and it's not often that I'll come to the aid of Johnny Evil and buy into any act he's got going, but I've looked several Johnny Evils in the eyes many times and every single time those guys didn't give one flying fuck about their crimes. Hell, it was as if nothing ever happened. Personally that has made me sick to be a human and it also explains my pleasant demeanor. Forget isolation, not only does this guy on tv have the right to start over, but so does the next guy who's gone through his own personal hell due to the hell he/she inflicted on others. You're probably thinking that I've lost it, but I figure I have as much right to speak like this as anybody. I've done my forgiving. Maybe not face to face, but I've done it. Sure, I've wanted to shoot and kill any and all bastards that have done this to anybody, but I've moved past this. I'm not living in the past with some nagging feeling of guilt because I never said stop. I couldn't stop it then so why the fuck should I stick with it. It wasn't my fault, it was the dickhead's fault. Nobody's ever apologized but I've moved on. The victim I saw on tv couldn't get over it. I don't know why. He's done his thing and she's still alive. There is nothing else that she can do about it, short of murder. He doesn't live next door. He's not stalking her. He's on tv exploiting himself in hopes that he can put everything behind him. Let him do it. Most predators stay assholes and think they're the victim. From what I saw, this guy knew what he did and didn't want it to happen again. Just leave him the fuck alone. I realize that I may have lost the point of that interview, but like I was saying I wasn't really watching it. I just caught enough to get the nagging feeling to write this article. pg. 000 While I love the Internet, I have some serious problems with it also. The commercialism is making me want to slam my head into a wall. There are no uncharted waters that have not been eaten by the hungry animal we call Commercialism. Literally none. Should that constitute the Internet as well? Initially, it was the people's forum. No one had a problem with it, not the government, not Congress, not the Senate, not advertisers. They figured we were a bunch of dumb assholes cruising around doing a bunch of stupid garbage that no one cared about. Suddenly we are sending massive amounts of information for cheap, and learning. My, how that must hurt the "establishment". They had to put their grubby little hands in the pie. It is only within the past five years that advertisers have come on the scene, and most of them are more current. It is turning into a buyers market, an advertisers haven, a marketing ploy. That's all it is to these wannabe, fuckwad, dicksmackin' companies. They don't give a rip about you or me or anyone else. They looked at their market share and decided they had to be on the Internet. Not because they could help people, not because they could provide information, but because they could push product. Period. Suddenly we have the W3C, suddenly we have the Senate concerned about what we send via email, suddenly we have Congress worried about how we send it and the content we post online. The fear is that we, the people, will become too independent, that we will show our true nature online: we may converse about our lack of government support, we may converse about our lack of government period, that we may converse with terrorists from some third world country that couldn't even get a job at seven eleven, that we may converse with someone that is perhaps better off than us. They don't like that shit. They don't want it, nor need it. Can you go anywhere online without an ad being thrust in your face? Don't click on it and they will stop wasting the money putting their useless drivel on the Internet. Internet advertising is eons behind the advertising in other mediums, but expect that to change. When they do catch up, you will have commercials just like you do on TV. Within 5 years, the Internet will be exactly like television, except that you will have to pay to read William Shakespeare. My fear is that eventually places like libraries and colleges will become obsolete; I can see a time when there are no libraries, no schools, where everyone gets their information online, for a price. Perhaps the real fear by these companies and our own government is that we will enjoy ourselves without anyone making a buck off it. That, I think, is the real paranoia. pg. 1 Let me tell you about the coolest band you probably never heard of... until today. The Verve had my pick as the next greatest thing since butter and they still are, but now they've sold out... sort of. For those of you not familiar with bands that actually play music, The Verve are from Britain. In my opinion, they are to the Stones what Oasis is to the Beatles, with one minor exception, The Verve aren't rewriting classics, just making them. The song that singles them out is Bittersweet Symphony. This is the song that will kill them. Funny video. Overkilled song. It starts out with an orchestral arrangement that is nothing more than a Stones song. Because of this and some neglection on their part, they get no money from this single at all. That's right the biggest overplay from Britain since the Song 2 and they get nothing. What I saw tonight sparked a mystery in my mind like no other. On a commercial from our good friends at Nike (who else) this song gets played with some kids going on about whatever. My main thought through all of this is: who gets paid here. The vampire (not Richards and Jagger) who took the money in round 1 or do the deserving fellows from The Verve get it. It doesn't matter because in the eyes of purist everywhere, he who sings it, did it. By the way, do not confuse The Verve with mediocre band The Verve Pipe. The Verve has talent all over. The Verve Pipe had one lyric ("For the life of me..") and got famous from it. In a few years, you'll only know of one and it sure as hell won't be the boys from stateside. Once upon a time, there was this thing called the Riddle of the Sphinx. The answer was man. You won't find the question here because it's stupid, and not just because I got stumped. Besides, Clasical Greek literature teaches and it inspires. Who cares, really?
Not to sound corporate or anything, but this is the way it goes. The newsletter and its concept belongs to Mongoose Type Entertainment. Anything written belongs to the respective authors, so please don't go ripping any of us off. We're not getting paid for this, and you shouldn't either, so don't be an asshole, go write something yourself. Give credit where credit's due. Everyone here does what seems to be a good job, so all we're asking is that you respect that. Sometimes we're Mongoose Type Entertainment Unlimited. Watch the movie. |
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