Believe it or not, The Dancing Finger O' Sarcasm has done a lot of good for a lot of people. Ever since Mongoose Type Entertainment has seized the moment to upkeep this site, we forgot about it, until the day after we assumed control. After that, it's been all downhill. We had no idea it would ever happen, but The Dancing Finger O' Sarcasm has become bigger than life itself, not too mention Marlon Brando. Not only has the finger spawned fan sites, sponsored earth shattering functions, but it has also brought joy to the meaningless lives of the people who have bothered to enter and win. Why does it mean so much to so many? Simple enough, these people are morons. With the exception of Sally Field, anyone who would go hysterical over winning an award needs not only help, but should be evicted as well. Nevertheless, the finger is an important part of pop culture (the part that most people forget) and without it, this site would be nothing. With that said and never to be done, here go the all important, all purpose, all weather, all more than you'll ever be acceptance speeches.
The Obligatory Are In No Particular
These speeches are placed in no particular order.
Yet, I felt I had received nothing in return for my hard work. I applied for award after award, and won quite a few...but it was never
enough. They never gave me that satisfaction. They never made me feel it was worth it. So, as I sat here at the computer last night, at the end of my rope, I applied for one last award..your award. I promised myself that if I didn't win, I would turn to a life of crime and drugs. But now, the glorious dancing middle finger stands proudly atop my awards page!
Thank you dancing finger, thank you for giving my site a reason to live! -Azazel Priest
Thank you very much for this award. It is not everyone who deserves the finger and we will try to hold fast to the traditions that made this salute the most recognizable hand gesture in America. We will do all in our power to uphold the standards for which it symbolizes and share it with all that we know.
There are so many people that deserve equal credit for the earning of this award. So many have contributed directly or indirectly have helped make our little web site a success and I am not sure if it is possible to name them all... but let me try...
*opens up phone book*
*several days later*
and last but not least
Thanks you all. And America, from the bottom of heart, UP YOURS!
In all seriousness, thank you for your unusual award. We will try to put it up in our next update. -Paul Golba
Muchos Garcias! -The WWYKillers
"It is at times like these that I reminded of the words of my father who said "Son, just put the gun down." Thank you. Godbless."
I will endevour to hold the finger high wherever it may take me. -T Emanuel
(and the crowd goes wild "speech!! speech!!", as I make my way to the podium.....)
On behalf of myself, I accept this wonderful award. It's more than an honor, and I will display my finger to anyone and everyone with whom I come in contact. I'd like to dedicate my finger to those that called me "nerd" and "geek" and the like, and I'll pass on my finger to my children and their children. May the finger outlive rock! This finger is for you people out there! Admire and caress, just don't pull my finger! Thank you! Goodnight! -Muggers
My entire family is in tears as I right this letter. We have a very serious hunting page and you have given us an obscene award. My beloved mother had a stroke when she saw the award and my wife says I should "Kill the sons of bitches, blow their f***ing heads right off!" I hope you feel really bad about what you have done. -Dick Grogan
before i won the dancing finger award, i was a no good bastard with green teeth. it only took me three small butter clots and a good hard look at the dancing finger to bleach my teeth and show me the power of the digit. i will be forever in its dancing debt. -jen shepherd
I must tell you! Since winning the 'Dancing Finger of Sarcasm Award,' my life has not been the same. I won the lottery! (well, only $50, but hey..) I found the man of dreams! No lie....however, I am prone to nightmares. I had to get rid of him : ) This award has changed my life in so many ways. I am too overcome to continue.... -Anna Nikotai
I am honored to be given the "finger" by you. Granted, I had to apply for consideration, however, I am deeply touched that you enjoyed my Hall Of Shame© site so much, you gave it the "finger". I tell all my cyberfriends, friends, homeless people and aliens to check out your site. Keep up the good work. -Buzzy R.J. Needum
We would like to think the Dancing Finger of Sarcasm award for changing the course of our lives forever. Before this prestigeous award, we had a terrible webpage. It was littered with verbal garbage, juvinile bellyaching, and completly mindless drivel. Now, well...we have this great award to go along with all that stuff. Thanks for changing our lives!! Jason Navarro and Mike Bradley of -Mike and Jason
I would just like to thank you for giving me the Dancing Finger award. It has changed my life in many ways.
First of all, I now realize that there are some things in life that you just have to make fun of, that includes people. Also, there are times when you have to let people make fun of you, too!
Many people that have visited my page have commented on this award. I don't know if they like it or what, but it's one of the awards on my page that draws attention. I'm sure the people must be smoking something (and not sharing it with me) or just retarded. Either way, I don't care because it generates attention.
I'm proud (don't ask me why) to display your award on my page. I only wish there were more out there like it. That gives me a thought.......... -Emily Fuller
I can hardly sleep at night, knowing that DFOS linked to me. But somehow, I do. -Project: Denny's
OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE:
"Winning the Dancing Finger O' Sarcasm has changed my life. I was instantly recognizable wherever I went. Women flocked to me (and some men too, but I'm not into that). Thanks to the prestige it brought me, I was able to bring racial harmony to my town. It cured me of hepatitis, gave me an extra 20 credits at college, made my beef leaner without losing taste, installed a new phone line in my house, added 7 extra inches to my vertical leap, and gave me a good, close shave without irritating my skin. I don't know how I lived before I got the Dancing Finger O' Sarcasm. I probably would have killed myself already." -Andrew Bond