Welcome to the movie review world, SDM style.  It goes like this, WE DON'T WATCH THE MOVIES.  Instead, we take a gander at the previews, consider the hype, put it through the grinder and give you our take on the situation.  It's a simple process really, but we're the ones doing it.

The Man In The Iron Mask

First installments are always tricky, but it must be done, so here goes. Leonardo DiCaprio has done Rimbaud, Romeo, some dead punk on a boat, a retard, and now a french king and his brother. Just because Jean-Claude Van Damme can do it doesn't mean anyone can do it. I'm not saying DiCaprio can't, I'm just saying I don't want to see a pretty boy and his clone. Maybe he can do it, but I don't care to find out. Another thing I don't want to see again are the 3 Musketeers. Not after what Disney did to them. Yes they are there as well as a bunch of people I thought had retired. Go ahead and see the movie just so you can watch a movie where the punk lives. Girls can check it out for double the pleasure, but will probably bring along walkman with a stuck Hanson tape in it. After all, the most exciting line I heard from it was "That is my brother." Rating: One finger.