Interview with Gammüübesprinkt

What follows is an exclusive interview that I conducted with Gammüübersprinkt, the musical group behind the theme song for IPD98. Just like Paul, they are misunderstood geniuses and bound to be remembered once they have all died out. The members of Gammüübersprinkt who sat down with me for an interview were the nefarious achmid, Latiefe, and Zoom-a-Zoom-Zoom. It was quite an experience as you will find out.

Why did you record a single for International Paul Day ’98?
achmid: Why not?

How did Gammüübersprinkt happen to hook up with the great Paul?
achmid: What most don’t realize is that the reason Gammüübersprinkt exists is because Paul is the one that introduced us to each other.
Latiefe: And this is our way of paying him back.
achmid: Besides, we had promised to hook up sometime in the future back when we were working on the SDM sequel album.

So, was this as pleasurable as that album?
Zoom: Hell no.
Raheem: But it was up there.

I heard somewhere that Paul even laid down some vocals. Is that true?
achmid: If you count saying "yeah" on cue, then he was a major part of the vocals.

Let's discuss the similarities you share with Paul?
Zoom: That ******* can never compare.

Oh, come on. Both are great talents.
Zoom: What in the hell can he do?

Both are unappreciated.
Zoom: But we deserve the appreciation.

Both are misunderstood.
Zoom: How in the hell can you misunderstand him? He's an embarrassment to humanity.

And both are legends in their own right.
Zoom: Wrong again, dumb ***. We're legends in our own right--
achmid: As well as others.
Zoom: He's a legend in his own mind. Get it right.

It seems like you don't really like him.
Zoom: What gave you that clue Sherlock?
achmid: I do. Zoom just had this tif with him.
Latiefe: To tell you the truth, I really don't know the guy all that well.

Well, there's no need in having unhappy interviews. Let's change the subject.
Zoom: Why in the hell are we talking about him anyway.

So what can you tell me about this project?
achmid: Well, it’s a three track release. The A side is called I Have No Decency. It’s our usual fare. Nothing special there except for the fact that it’s a blatant rap song.

Blatant?
achmid: A five hour chorus and a producer who won’t shut up.

Oh, I see. What about the rest of the single?
Latiefe: Do You Know? shows what we like to do best… be different.

How do you mean?
achmid: Latiefe is singing a song that can be considered r&b or country. If I had to come up with a comparison, it would be a modernized, pumped up, twisted, completely changed remake of Ween’s Push The Little Daisies and Make Them Come Up. I hate the song, but that’s what it sounds like.
Latiefe: I think it was tight.
achmid: Shut up! You sounded like a castrated parrot.
Latiefe: **** you!

And there is one more track?
achmid: Yeah. With all our singles, we like to put out a piece called Irritance. It’s a sixty second track comprised of three or more different tracks. Each track is isolated and unaware of the other. When they’re all done, I mix them together and viola. Instant Mayhem.

So, how do you feel about celebrating Paul?
achmid: What for?

International Paul Day ’98?
achmid: I thought he was joking. That’s a real thing? How in the hell did that ****** get his own holiday?

He IS a genius.
achmid: Since when. His brother told me he was certifiably stupid and this girl we both knew told me he was a maniac. Nobody like that gets his own holiday.
Latiefe: On top of that, he’s a pain and scares the hell out of me.
Zoom: That ******* owes me money. He can’t be too smart.

Certainly there are others who think otherwise. Changing the subject, when can we expect the new album?
achmid: I don’t know. This single wore me out. How about in three years?
Latiefe: So soon?
achmid: I figure we can start coming up with material in four years.
Zoom: Maybe.

What will you do in the meantime?
achmid: Join the circus.
Latiefe: I’ve been playing piano at a deaf strip club.
achmid: Changed my mind, I’ll be a mailman.
Zoom: Work at my folks restaurant.
achmid: Strike that, I want to write children’s books.
Latiefe: Raheem couldn’t make this interview because he’s busy working at a book store.
achmid: Nope, I want to be a manager at a grocery store.
Latiefe: The Long Haired Hippy is in rehab for his addiction to vitamins.
achmid: Uh uh. I want to clean up a McDonald’s.

Thanks for the time, fellas. Maybe we’ll see you at IPD98.
Latiefe: IPD98?
achmid: I could do whatever it is that Paul does. He’s getting a holiday. I do more than him and I’m paying child support for a ******* that’s not even mine.
Latiefe: What the hell is that?

International Paul Day ’98.
achmid: ‘fraid not, bucko. We’ve got a gig. Somewhere. At least we will.
Latiefe: When is it?

October 15, 1998
Latiefe and Zoom: Yep. We’re going to have a gig.
achmid: Give him our regards.

Well thanks for your time and the interview.
Zoom: Whatever. I hope you can get back out that window.

Brought to you by The Committee To Bang YOU In The Head